Divorce and blending family

 

The discussion this week has been very informative on the subject of divorce, marriage, and blended families. For as much as we hope for an ideal family situation we know that in reality life is hard and that sometimes in some situations divorce is the best solution to the situation even it isn’t most of the time. An that because of that it results in both split families as well as merger families latter potentially when the parents remarry.

One of the biggest take aways fro m the discussions during the weak was some of the realities of divorce. For staters divorce is is something entirely based in self interest and putting oneself first which is not to that you should neglect yourself in marriage far from it but if both spouses seek to be selfless it is almost impossible for divorce to occur or even come close to that point that is not to say that there will be no tension but that it will just be the natural tension of two different opinions. Some of the other take aways if how most people feel post divorce. On average within two year seventy percent of people who divorced not only were regretting divorce but felt that the divorce could have been over come and avoided in the first place. An what I feel greatly emphasizes how much men need a parent especially after the closeness that come from relationship between spouses is that on average more than two thirds of men are remarried within two years of divorce this is not because they get over the divorce in a few months and then start looking for a spouse this because the companionship and closeness found in marriage is so important a need that many men seek out a new companion to fill that need as soon as possible. Lastly most leave at the low or rough points the example given that in a survey asking about martial satisfaction ranging from very satisfied to very unsatisfied most at the bottom of the range with in a few years naturally shifted to the top not to suggest that all do but that in most marriages just a life has high and low points so does marriage for example when having children the first few years are hardest and gradually get better over time.

Lastly was the discussions on the ways to help with transition during the process of blending families together because of divorce and remarriage. One of the parts that needs to be taken into account is the time that it will take for the new family to acclimate to the blending process which the typical time is two years meaning if it feels weird for a while that’s normal it’s like moving into a new home and city it takes awhile getting used to the new home, roads, and places you frequent on top of all the new people blending a family is the same to taking into account the time to normalcy is a must. Another part to help in the process is at least till normalcy having the birth parent responsible for heavy discipline to avoid conflict. At first because the step parent won’t feel like a parent having them discipline will at least feel like someone overstepping their bounds like someone not your boss at work trying to tell you how to do your job and just leads to unnecessary conflict. Even just with taking into account these few things that transition can be smoother to a new happy family and avoid at least most of the bumps that can occur in the process of becoming one.